Mother-in-law the ongoing saga

Following on from my previous post, my mother-in-law has now been moved to another nursing home which is shit loads better than the first one (please read previous post). It’s one of the homes where Pat and I wanted her in the first place and guess what? Mum-in-law after touring, chose it without comment from us.

In my opinion, it’s better by 100 fold in that it’s light and airy. Her window view is of what has to be a 10m x 7m atrium rather than a 2m high fence 1m away and the atrium being enclosed and air conditioned keeps the cold night air off her window. The best thing is one can now recognise the food. Plus, there’s a beautiful garden and ocean views.

One thing we immediately noticed is that the staff are great. They’re friendly and when the help button is pressed they are not 20 minutes away.

Because this is another move, Mum-in-law has been reset mentally in that we now have to go through the, “bring me home!” from this foreign place again. This only lasts six weeks or so but that’s the nature of dementia. Familiarity will replace the change in venue and she will settle eventually.

Pity she was not put here in the first place as it’s where we would have preferred she be. She would not be stressed out for a second time running. Again, see my previous post.

On with the saga!

Now, my sister-in-law that caused all this through self-interest or possibly inexperience (I believe the former) has not spoken to Pat (her sister, my wife) since this all began several months ago. We are the devil(s) incarnate for wanting mother-in-law in a better home and not more conveniently located for a random visits from Lameroo. She did not wish Pat a Happy Birthday recently and has not responded to messages about mum-in-law from Pat in months.

BUT GET THIS!

We did receive a barbed text when mum-in-law was moved (without her knowledge) “Thanks for letting me know you moved mum.”

Well, I say, FUCK OFF!

  1. You disconnected from us because you didn’t get your way.
  2. You have a brother who was also assisting with the move, he could have told you.
  3. You have a son, he was told and could have told you.

So, why brow beat us over it? It seems no-one wants to talk to you.

Look folks, I’m not against all family being involved. In fact, I’d prefer it. What I am against is one family member wanting to control everything from a remote location and letting other family members (Pat & I) deal with the fallout.

  • We get all the “I want out of here!” phone calls and face-to-face.
  • We get the “Thanks for nothing! phone calls and face-to-face.
  • We get the “I should just die!” phone calls and face-to-face.
  • We get the insults when we cant take her home.
  • We get the emergency calls at all hours.
  • We go down on an almost daily basis.
  • We shop for her clothing items.
  • We go down and have meals with her.

All this is very hard to deal with and can be saddening, draining and depressing. But it’s all toot sweet for the ones not there as we are and they go about their normal lives with little day-to-day consideration for the rest of us actually in the middle of the mine field. What about our lives? Just how much are we supposed to sacrifice when there are actually three family members to share the load?

The Witch of Lameroo get’s on going about her daily life and sparing time only to complain about what we’ve supposedly done to mum-in-law. Well shit-head, we’ve got her in the best place she can be and not in a place that was more suitable to your travel arrangements.

Just a little foot note

When you were mouthing off about this before. It was suggested you take mum-in-law to Lameroo if you felt that strongly about it. But, that idea went cold really quick, didn’t it?

If you do manage to find this this text (you know who you are) Again, FUCK OFF.

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